it sounds morbid to call this kind of birthday a "celebration". but, it was a celebration. as hard as it might be to imagine, the day Carli was born was a happy day and it is worth celebrating. just like any parents, we were happy to meet her. we were excited to see who she looked like. we wanted to hold the baby we had been bonding with over the past few months. of course, the day still had sadness, because she was already gone. but, it wasn't all tears as some would think.
3.29.2011
Carli's birthday
3.26.2011
3.22.2011
today
this is it. the anniversary of the worst day of my life. it has been one year since i found out Carli had given up her fight. i still remember that day in haunting detail.
3.17.2011
ugh
just 5 days until the one year anniversary of the worst day of my life. i've been trying not to think about it, because it's really dragging me down. i mean- it's horribly depressing.
3.15.2011
looking back
one year ago today. i remember not being able to sleep the night before. i remember getting Lynzie cleaned up, sending her off to school, and then waiting. i had to wait for two hours before i could call the doctor and hopefully hear my amnio results.
3.10.2011
new baby
Eden had a pretty good night of sleep. she only woke up once. and then at 5:45, Ray decided to take her. awesome! i love mornings when i get to sleep a bit longer. i didn't have to get up until 7:00, so that was going to be an extra hour and fifteen minutes of comfortable, uninterrupted sleep. almost. my phone rang at 6:30.
3.07.2011
silence
i followed a lot of blogs through my last two pregnancies... a lot of "loss" blogs. i wanted to know. how do people handle losing their baby? how do they handle having another one? so, i followed, and i read. i read the stories of how they lost their babies. i read the feelings they had about being pregnant again. then, nothing.
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