i followed a lot of blogs through my last two pregnancies... a lot of "loss" blogs. i wanted to know. how do people handle losing their baby? how do they handle having another one? so, i followed, and i read. i read the stories of how they lost their babies. i read the feelings they had about being pregnant again. then, nothing.
a lot of these blogs just stop after the birth of the new baby. why is that? maybe they are beyond that point of grieving. maybe the new baby takes up all their time. maybe there is nothing left to say about the baby who died.
so, i noticed my blog looks almost the same way. it just tapers off. but- i have an explanation. a two part explanation. first- the private entries. i have quite a few. they are mostly random thoughts that wouldn't make sense to anyone else and i have a lot going on that wouldn't benefit from public discussion. second- what do i say? that's the problem. everything is so weird... i don't know what to say. it's strange, because losing a baby makes someone a totaly different person. it's a big change. but then having another baby after that is another big change. i'm all confusing inside.
oh- by the way... 19 days until Carli's birthday. bleh.
3.07.2011
silence
at 9:23 AM
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2 comments:
I know I blog less and the reason is time constraints. I don't have as much time as I used to to sit and blog and read posts. Although I did gt a new phone that is letting me visit more often. Plus sometimes it feels like everything's already been said.
Holly- "...it feels like everything's already been said." I have that feeling too. I still grieve for Carli... but how many times can I say it? But it's also depressing to think that everything has already been said. It's like a reminder of how short Carli's life was. There is nothing new to add. :(
BTW- I love reading your blog. And now I have a deeper understanding for the feelings of a rainbow mom.
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