the walk didn't go as well as i had hoped, because it rained. let's face it, no one likes taking babies out in the rain to walk a few miles. my team had 3 babies. i think the babies did really well for a cold rainy day. but, i still hoped it would be a warm sunny one. :)
trying to keep the babies dry
i'll admit, the opening speech failed to capture my attention. so, i really have no idea what she said. something about her dad dying earlier this year... i don't know. i was busy trying to feed Eden quickly, before the walk started.
happy baby- ready to go!
then, the ambassador family was introduced. i don't know how one becomes an ambassador family... and for a minute i thought maybe we should try to do that for next year. that is, until the ambassador family gave a speech. no thank you. i cannot do speeches. (Ray, could you imagine me doing a speech? "i'm freakin' out!")
anyway- the ambassador family talked about their son, preston. he was born too early, and passed away within a few days. one part of the mother's speech was especially difficult for me. she said "he was here. he was real." i get that. i so get that. it may seem like just a brief statement in her speech, but to a mom like me... i understood what she meant.
babies that die are easily forgotten. things like memory walks and birthday celebrations are good to get everyone thinking about the baby. but, for the mom... she thinks about her baby everyday. it feels like everyone starts to forget. but the mom keeps hanging on. sometimes i want to just bring it up, out of nowhere. "you know- i had a daughter named Carli. she was tiny. she was sick. she died. that did actually happen to me. remember? just checking."
i know people remember Carli. i know everyone that knows me acknowledges what i went through. but, sometimes it doesn't feel real. sometimes i have to tell myself "she was here. she was real". i feel like i want to tell people, so they can think about her everyday too. so, i really understood what this woman was saying. it definitely made me tear up. i wanted to go hug her. (that would be weird, huh?)
but, anyway... as i was struggling to keep my tears from overflowing... some guy started taking pictures of me. friggen weird. he was some march of dimes volunteer... but couldn't he see i was having a moment? leave me alone! oh well, at least it made the tears stop!
so, we walked. we were the last walkers to finish. ray doesn't like to be last. but, hey- we finished. and i think a very small number of walkers actually finish the entire walk. and, there was still food when we got back. if they would have run out of food, ray would have been pissed! i can hear him now "see?! this is why we can't be last!" haha!!
2011 Team Carli Hope
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