why you shouldn't ask questions

ray is buying a new car. well, it's a used car that is actually older than his truck. he's trading his truck to reduce debt, and have more room for all our car seats. i personally like the new-to-us car. it's an acura mdx... and of course, i had to point out that now we will have room for two more car seats after Eden. :) hehe!!


anyway... while ray was "playing the game" with the car dealer, a lady walked over to talk to Lynzie and Lillie. we got the typical "oooohh!! are they twins?" and i gave my standard "nope- 18 months apart". then she asked them their names, and how old they were. then she said "i have two granddaughters. kayla is 8 and carly is 6." uh oh. here we go.

Lillie chimed in "we have a Carli too!!" and the lady said "oh, is she your sister?" Lillie nodded. "how old is Carli?" Lillie looked confused... she thought... and she couldn't come up with an answer. the lady looked super confused. i mean, how do you have a sister that you don't know how old she is? "is your Carli a baby?" Lillie thought for a minute.. "well... she was our baby..." then i spared everyone more confusion and awkwardness and just told the lady we "lost her".


yep, that's right. i lost her. i have no clue where i left her, but maybe someday i'll find her again. ugh- i hate the word "lost". anyway- the lady was clearly in an awkward spot... but i didn't care. that's why you don't get so nosy and ask a 4-year-old so many questions. you will more than likely learn things about a family you didn't want to know. ours just happens to be that we have a dead baby.


she stumbled around a bit, and said some "i'm sorry" and "when did it happen?" which, i answered. i still hate the phrase "i'm sorry." what do i say? "you should be; it's all your fault my baby was stillborn almost 8 months before i ever came into contact with you." ? 


anyway- it was an extremely awkward situation. i almost cried at the mention of Carli... but i was able to contain it. that would have made it even more awkward. instead, i kind of enjoyed the moment in that Lillie was able to claim her sister. i'm guess i'm not the only one who remembers Carli.