things i'm tired of hearing

i am tired of hearing: "isn't there anything the doctors can do?"
this has got to be the most ignorant question ever. wouldn't you assume the doctors are doing everything that can be done? oh yeah, there's plenty they can do, but our philosophy is that she will just get over it. of course we, and the doctors, are doing everything that can possibly be done to help Carli!


i am tired of hearing: "let me know if there's anything i can do."
i get that this is meant to be helpful and supportive. it is the nicest thing someone can think to say in situations like this... but i'm tired of hearing it. what could you possibly do? what if i requested something random? would you do it? "yes, i need a jar of jelly and a pair of socks... would you run out and get me those things?" it just feels like such a manufactured comment. like you don't really expect me to "let you know" anything... you just say it to feel like you offered something.

i am tired of hearing: "i know how it feels..." or "when my dog was sick..." or "my grandma died..."
your dog, grandma, mother, sister, or anyone else you know that was sick or died is nothing like this. unless you have been through exactly what i am going through (with a real human baby) then you have no friggen clue how i feel! and i honestly don't care what your dog's funeral was like.

i am tired of hearing: "you are so strong."
i don't feel strong. i feel weak. i feel run down. i feel scared. i feel like you have no idea what i do all day. if you saw me crying hysterically for a few hours, would you still think i'm strong? because some days are like that... and it doesn't feel like strength to me.

i am tired of hearing: "......" (this is the awkward silence after i talk to someone about Carli)
i'm not an alien. i'm still the same person you knew five minutes ago. she's not dead yet. i'm still normal-pregnant. i don't expect you to have any healing words. i'm just letting you know what's going on. please stop looking at me like i have a corpse in my stomach. oh, and hey, next time you see me, why don't you ask how Carli is doing? and you can even use her name, because she does have one...

i am tired of hearing: "oooh! when are you due?!"
oooh! leave me alone! between all my doctor appointments, ultrasounds, and due-date switching... i honestly have trouble remembering when i'm due. not that it matters now, because even if Carli survives long enough to be delivered, we will deliver well before the due date... not that i need to tell YOU that, random stranger. get your groceries, and leave me alone.

i am NOT tired of hearing: "we are thinking of you" or "we are praying for you"
this is something you CAN do. this is something we need you to do. do this ten thousand times a day. that's what i want.
and if you don't know me, or my situation... how 'bout you just don't say anything? how 'bout you just continue your shopping/banking/picking up your kids, and leave me alone?