i'm feeling grumpy

dear friends, family, and random people in public... this is my 4th pregnancy. yes, number 4. know what that means? i've done this a few times before. i don't need any advice. if i do- i will most likely ask for it, or google it, or something. either way, i don't need random pointers on things i "should" do.


what is it with people and feeling the urge to annoy the hell out of pregnant ladies? i try to not give advice on pregnancy or kids. i hope i contain myself adequately. my belief is that every single pregnancy, baby, and kid is different, and requires different things. but, above all, not everyone wants to hear what i did, or how things worked. don't get me wrong- i do feel the urge to offer advice.. but i try not to unless asked. even when i'm asked, i try to be cautious. because, my way is not the only way.


that being said, i will repeat- this is my 4th pregnancy. every single one of them has been vastly different. that means, i don't know when Eden is coming. and, i don't care to hear what you think i should do. fun due date guessing is okay. suggestions on what my doctor should be doing, or labor signs i'm obviously missing are not acceptable. 


my mom is bad for implying that i'm really in labor, and just don't know it. (did i mention this is my 4th pregnancy?) she knows everything. Eden was definitely coming last week, because i had contractions. i kept warning her that the contractions didn't feel very strong... but, nope- that's how hers was. today, i'm bleeding because of the violent cervical check (stripping membranes) i had done yesterday. according to my mom? i am  having a placental abruption. even though she doesn't know what it's called. and if i was having a placental abruption, i would have died hours ago. i've had a contraction here and there (literally hours apart). according to my mom? i'm in labor. her contractions with my sister were like that. they never were consistent. yep, that's it. i'm in labor, and i have no clue. i've been laboring away for over a week, and never friggen noticed!!! 


various people Ray knows have all kinds of ideas for things my doctors should be doing. ya know... because they all went to medical school. first of all, i'm not even to my due date yet (it's tomorrow). second, it's okay to go a few days past my due date. there's no need to panic right now. i don't care how you felt, or what you demanded in your pregnancy... i don't see the need to call my doctor right this second and demand an induction. maybe next week.... but not NOW! third, compared to me, you have very little childbirth experience. not that it matters, because every delivery is different!!! whether you have 1 or 10... you still cannot predict what will happen with me. i guarantee it. 

and by the way- i'm not telling the doctor to "thin out my cervix out". it's stupid. #1- they can't do that without medications. #2- you're talking about stripping the membranes, so stop calling it "thinning out".  #3- it doesn't start labor anymore than castor oil, raspberry tea, sex, nipple stimulation, walking, or any other old wives tale. #4- my doctor stripped my membranes yesterday, it hurt like a bitch, and i'm still not in labor.


i'm also tired of hearing about induction. did i mention i haven't even passed my due date yet? there's nothing saying i'm definitely heading for an induction. and stop trying to tell me how horrible it is. i've been induced. i've been induced way before term, with a very closed cervix, and with a very tiny baby... and it wasn't that bad (physically). i've also been on pitocin after labor stalled... and that wasn't so bad either. i don't want to hear your horror stories. i don't want to hear what is going to happen for me, based on what you went through. 


and one last thing- if Ray seems excited or anxious... fine. he has every right to be more than ready to hold his baby. i think he has waited long enough. so, don't tell him that Eden will be "more ready" if she waits longer. jesus christ, she's 39 weeks and 6 days... we aren't talking immature lungs or anything. she's about as ready as she's going to get, and has been for at least 3 weeks now. besides, this bit of advice came from the lady who was freaking out just a few months ago that she was sick of being pregnant, and her baby was never going to arrive... when she was like 32 weeks. wanna talk about who's impatient?


phew... okay... i'm done. ya know what? i think all this agitation must mean i'll be going into labor soon.