prepared

i don't think i have discussed "getting ready" for Eden very much. you know how normal parents do all that stuff like buying a crib, painting a nursery, and other money spending? yeah, we didn't do that. some parents wait until they know the sex of the baby, and then they go on a shopping spree to throw money at anything blue or pink... whatever matches the sex of their baby on the way. we got to know Eden is a girl 3 times... and still never went on a shopping spree.


last week, my mom and two of my sisters came to visit us. this is the first time any of my family has been to our new house. so, i gave them the tour of everything. the last leg of the tour was upstairs. i opened the door to Eden's room and said "this will be Eden's room." immediately, i hear my sister standing behind me: "oh my god, katie! you better get started! you don't have much time! what are you gonna do? it was so hard for me to paint our nursery, and i was only like 26 weeks..." blah blah blah. i replied "ya know what? i bet Eden doesn't even care what color her room is when she gets here. she's not even going to be in it, so i'm not too worried about it right now." what did i want to say? "yeah... it's a little hard to prepare when you don't know if you will get to use the room, or if you will have to pack it all up, because the baby died." 


i love my sister. she is very naive. she's kind of an air head. she definitely doesn't think things through before she says them. but, i love her. i didn't want to upset her; she's 29 weeks pregnant. she doesn't need to know that her baby can die too, at any second. with or without reason. she's having a normal pregnancy, and i am not. that's why she went to 4 different stores to find bedding with puppies on it, painted her nursery, and has her car seat already installed and safety-checked... and i still had a blue room full of cardboard boxes, and other randomly stored items. 


over the weekend, however, ray started painting Eden's room. so, now it is pink. the trim still needs to be done, but we are making progress. i used all my christmas gift cards, and most of my paycheck to order a few of the important things we will need right away, if we get to bring Eden home. please, let us bring her home. 

i put her car seat in the car. her bassinet should arrive sometime later this week. i bought a very small pack of diapers and one blanket.  i packed my hospital bag. we also got some cute little dots to put on her wall, when the painting is finished. 

i don't think we will be as prepared as the naive moms think we should be, by the time Eden gets here. we will have the important stuff. i'm okay with that, for now...