day fourteen.

what have you done to preserve your memories of your child, or make new memories?

i have the important things, like pictures and foot prints in a scrapbook. i also have a big memory box for all her things. 


as far as making new memories- we celebrate her birthday, and we do our march of dimes walk... but i don't really consider those "memories of Carli".

memories? i hate that i don't have many memories of Carli. sure, i remember the anatomy scan, the amniocentesis, the "no heartbeat" ultrasound, and the delivery... but those are things that happened. that isn't Carli. 

i wish i had memories of Carli. i wish i knew what her laugh sounded like. i wish i knew what color her eyes would have been. i struggle with the fact that i never really knew Carli. do i have a right to miss someone i never knew?