day twenty-four.

on birthday's, diagnosis day's, anniversaries of passing, etc... do you prepare for them?

i usually don't prepare, because i don't think there is any way to prepare. i never know how i'm going to feel. i dreaded Carli's due date from the day she was born. but, when it came around... it wasn't so bad. the anniversary of my positive pregnancy test, however, was extremely difficult. i didn't expect to be sad that day, but i think it was one of my worst. 

so, preparing... doesn't do me much good. i never know which days are going to suck, and which days are going to be surprisingly easy and peaceful.

i do prepare for her birthday, but only event preparations. not emotional preparations. we plan her balloon release, and her angel food cake. the rest of it... we just go with what happens, and see how we feel.