day twenty-six.

on a scale of 1 to 10 rate your day today and why?

well, it's a lot better than i expected it to be.

7.

it's good. Eden seems to finally be over an almost 3 day fever. i am exhausted, and just glad to have a semi-happy baby again. also, Eden had to go to the doctor today for shots. she seems to be handling those well (a very good thing). i'm getting excited for halloween, and dressing up all the kids. the girls seem to be doing well in school, and are almost un-grounded (bad grades.. ugh). those are the good things about today. 

today loses points. it's the 2-year anniversary of my positive pregnancy test with Carli. not a huge milestone, but i think that's why it has that extra-special suck. it's a milestone only i think about. no one else knows what today is to me. (except maybe Ray... but i'm betting he isn't thinking about it)

i think about two years ago. how i felt. how Ray felt. i think about one year ago. how badly this day sucked. how it was so extremely lonely. 

and this year, it still isn't great... but it's not as bad as the year before. 

october 26th... you're an okay day, but you lose points for the bittersweet memories.

my first trip to pittsburgh with Ray.

october 31, 2009.