day one.

who are you? 
share as little or as much about you in general.

who am i? funny thing... i've asked myself that very same question more than a few times over the past few weeks. the truth is, i'm not really sure anymore.

i can tell you the basics. i'm katie. i'm a wife. i'm a mother. i'm the youngest of 7 kids. i had never really dealt with a significant loss in my life, before losing Carli.

i have changed a lot over the past two years. i have lost a lot of who i was (and that's not all a bad thing) and i'm still trying to figure out who i have become. 


for example: i have "known" since 9th grade that i wanted to go to college and eventually to grad school... and in the end, i would become a psychologist. that was the plan. i was pretty damn focused on the goal, too. i got the college part down. graduated. then, i scheduled my GRE to get into grad school. i took the test the day Carli died. then, i stopped caring about "the goal". 

i haven't done anything productive since Carli died. i'm not even sure what i want to do anymore. i can't even begin to describe the empty lost feeling i have about who i am and where i go from here. it's just like... i don't know... and i don't really care. it all seems so pointless. 

who am i? i don't know. let me know if you figure it out.